Wednesday, 30 July 2014


One Saturday I met a bloke from Ashington who'd recently moved to Portobello in Edinburgh. He said the first week he was up in Scotland he was chatting to a local girl he’d met at his running club. By way of introducing him to the area she listed the many celebrities who come from Portobello, including Gail Porter. “Does anyone famous come from Ashington?” She asked.
“Jackie Charlton” the bloke replied.

The girls eyes widened with amazement, “What,” she exclaimed excitedly, “That bloke from the kung fu films?”

Many of you may feel this was simply a mix-up on the girl’s part. Possibly so, though personally I like to think that she was right. And that somewhere in the world there is a place where people watch martial arts movies featuring a craggy figure in a Barbour jacket taming the Hong Kong Triads with nothing more than a flat-cap, a fishing rod and no-nonsense common sense. While elsewhere Jackie Chan focuses a mind honed to razor sharpness by Shaolin monks on trying to remember who, or what, Tony Cascarino is. 

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